Open Season

This was my brain, a few weeks ago:


See how pink and shiny it was? You can almost smell the synapses firing merrily away.

But this is my brain now:

No synapses. Only a gooey lovey dovey swirling pink cloud of baby euphoria.

Crack cocaine's got nothing on Baby Fumes. They'll fry your whites and your yolks faster than you can say but I have to....wait...what was I going to do?

Admitting that you are powerless over your addiction is step one.

Hello. My name is Jenni, I am a hard-core baby-snuffler. In light of this, I am going to rely on  you, my friends, to help me out in my time of need. And I need subject matter.

I also need to say that what I am about to do is highly uncharacteristic of me in the Real World in which I (usually) live. Usually I am reluctant to even answer the question "So how many do you have?" at the grocery store, simply because I Do Not Want To Deal With The Shrieks. I do not want to then dodge (while my ice cream melts) a zillion and one rapid-fire inquiries regarding How Do I Do It.

But for you, my loverly readers, I am putting myself squarely in the cross-hairs. And because I know my ice cream is safely ensconced in my freezer, I will attempt to answer whatever questions you have.

This is your big chance! If you have asked me any questions in my comments before this time and I have not responded, please ask again! If you have been kept awake at night wondering about some aspect of my life, now is the time to unload your burden! If you simply want to know what size underwear I wear, by all means, throw that sucker in the mix!

But I reserve the right to say none of your freakin' bizness to any of them.

Fire away!

Comments

[Jen @ irrationallove]

I actually was wondering this question this morning. I've been struggling with spending one-on-one time with my 4 girls. We seem to move en masse. That's ok but they also have expressed, in different ways, their desire for momma-time "all.by.my.self!" I thought, "I wonder if/how Jenni does it?"

[Toni]

I'm wondering where you got your incredible artistic ability because that, my friend, is some first rate Photo Shoppin'. :)

[Marisa]

I was drawn to your blog (via Rocks in My Dryer) because you have such a big family! Which by the way, I think is SO COOL! But I do wonder if you and your husband knew when you got married that you wanted this many kids? What is a day in the life of your family like?

[Cakes]

What about outside activities? Do your kids play sports/dance/swim etc?

[Kate]

What size underwear do you wear?

ROTFL

Ya know I had to ask, right? Hee!

Okay, okay, real questions...

1. What is your favorite comeback for the question, "Don't you know what causes that?"

2. How does it feel having Rose getting married ~ getting ready to leave home permanently ~ while you simultaneously have a newborn and many young kids? Do you worry/wonder if Xavier, Toby & Gabriel will have close relationships with their oldest siblings due to the large age spread?

3. How do you feel your parenting style has changed as you've had more children (assuming it has)?

[Stacey]

I have two questions if you don't mind.
#1) What is your favorite littles disaster that you now remember fondly (cough cough!) or not so fondly? Such as- peanut butter in the carpt, or overflowing toilets.

#2) Let's have a synopsis of dinner time at Jenni's house!

[Mrs. Mordecai]

How many gallons of milk do y'all go through in a week?

[Sharon]

What does a menu look like for your house for the week/month, if you make one? Do you have a master shopping list? What are your must have convienece items?

[Tricia]

We have three right now and would love to have a large family one of these days..I like to get high on baby snuffling as well! =) I'm curious as to how scheduled you are...my tendency is to...let's see how to put it...not be. However, I was wondering how strongly you recommend it and to what degree, or maybe you have some helpful tips. Thanks for your time! I have enjoyed reading your blog as of late.

[Soliloquy]

Um. HELLLLOOOOOOOO??

WHO, I ask, told you that your brain scares them?

Was it me??? Why yes, I believe it was. ME.

And NOW you are asking me to face my fear?!

For real?!

Ohhhhhhh. Kay.

How has your blog and its purpose evolved?

and

Where did you get that freakin' vocabulary??

[jolyn]

*How do you homeschool so many different grade levels?
*How is homeschooling affected/continued while you're hunkering down with a newborn? (Or do you not hunker down?)
*How do your kids handle rude questions about the number of siblings they have? (Or do they get rude questions?)
*Do you ever go on vacation as a family?
I know this is a lot of questions! I enjoy reading each and every post!

[Heather]

Questions:
1) How do you keep the middle kids from getting "lost" in the group?
2) What religious denomination does your family belong to?
3)What would you do if your doctor said you had to stop having children for health reasons?
4)With all that you have going on daily at your house, do you have a strict routine that you try to keep to, or do you have a more laid-back approach?
5)Why do you sometimes have what people consider to be bad language in your posts?

[Minnesotamom]

Were you homeschooled?
How did you meet your husband?
What's your favorite dessert?
If you had never had kids and were unable to adopt (for whatever reason), what would be your dream job?

[Adrienne]

How do you grocery shop for a family that big? I only have 5 and I take two carts out to the car!

[Ruth]

Why were you born in Alaska and how long did you live here? (okay, I know you were born here b/c that's where your mother went into labor, but was your father military? gungho explorer? pipeline?)

How do you deal with the needs of little ones and simultaneously older children? I mean, I've got an almost 4 year old, a two year old, and another due in October, and I'm wondering how in the world a) we're going to get any groceries in the house because I dread the thought of bundling up three kiddos against the winter cold to trek through icebergy parking lots b)I'm going to get any sleep c)read/color/pay attention to my older two while simultaneously nursing a little one and trying to cook dinner and make sure that we all have at least one clean pair of undies. SO how did you do all that before you had big helpers?

How do you have time to be crafty? I loved the Valentine words you made! Why does your house look tidy and how big is it and how many kids to a room?

[Sarah the secret blower]

hahahahahahaahah...and may I say hah, the question about your sometimes questionable, and some would consider potty mouth language in your blog, left me rolling on the floor....
hahahahahahahahahah

[Lisa Lavy]

E N E R G Y: WHERE do you get so much? Crafts? with so many littles grabbing and dropping and spilling? Are your children verry laid back and gentle?

I wish I was your kid!!

[Natalie]

Ok...all those other questions are fascinating, and I hope you get around to them, but here is mine, as I sit, surrounded by heaps of clean laundry, with a load in the washer, a full dryer, and clothes on the line (and I only have one! Admittedly, I cloth diaper.)-
-What is your laundry system/secret?

Oh, oh... and also, while we're asking nosey questions that you can laugh at and disregard...
- Do you have a 'get fit after baby' plan?

[Linda in St.Louis]

I admire you. I always wanted a large family. For some reason (probably because I had to raise them on my own), the all-knowing Father only gave me two. They are both grown; one has given me grandchildren, who are growing rapidly (teenage boys and a 9 year old girl), the other does not want children. I do have adopted grandchildren, one who doesn't have grandparents (deceased), three others who were adopted by a dear friend who wanted to include me in their lives, so I'm the adopted Grandma. My question: if you were to get a free moment, what do you do for you?

[Linda Sue]

Do you have an exercise program? Quit laughing - now stop it! Or do you and your beloved stay trim just living your well balanced and thought out life? 'cause even the preggers picture you posted showed a very trim woman.

[sarah]

how do you handle the hormones/babyblues after birth?

i'm sorry if that is too personal. :(

[Rebecca]

Bath Time! Is it chaos like it is at my house with only five kiddos?

Dinner time! We try to give each one a turn to talk about his day, but sometimes they get long-winded and we have to cut them off so that everyone can get a turn. Sometimes it's too frustrating for any of us to enjoy.

How do you store toothbrushes and individual bathroom cups? Sounds silly, I know, but I hate for them to share bathroom cups and germs, but don't like to use Dixie cups because they can go through a hundred a day.

Also bedtime prayers and snuggling. Do you fit everyone in?

Sorry. Too many questions. Just pick your favorite : )

[Beth]

Hello! I just came across your blog today, and I love it! My dream is to have a big family someday. I only have a 13 month old right now but I'm hoping for lots more.

My question is not about your family, but I need some advice from an experienced mom! My kid throws food at every single meal. I've tried saying no, taking food away, spoon feeding her (not letting her feed herself), and even smacked her hand. NOTHING seems to work. She laughs at me when I say no and also laughed when I smacked her! I mean laughed hysterically. She has even taken food out of her mouth and thrown it. What do I do? My carpet is suffering.

Also how do you get them to behave at church?

Thank you so much, and congratulations on your beautiful baby!

[shel]

Jenni,
I want to know how you stay so thin and young looking after so many pregnancies. Exercise? Special diets? Plastic surgery? (LOL!)

[am]

I admit I have a few.

I know from your birth stories the births have been different, but what about the pregnancies? Sick sometimes? Stretch marks some, not others?

What are your kids sleeping arrangments -- older with younger, like ages together? How many bedrooms do your kids share?

Do all your kids do chores? Who cooks dinner?

Thanks.

[Bubba's Sis]

I'd just love to know the names and ages of all your kiddos!

[Marla Taviano]

These questions are FANTASTIC. But they're hurting my head, and they're not even for me! And I only have 3 kids and none of them are newborns!

You'll never be able to answer all these! It would take a book! Or your own reality show. Oooh! Do the show! Do the show!

[Jane]

Someone else already hit on this, but since it's something I struggle with - with only 4 children here - how do you keep up with laundry for 14 people?!?

Also, please describe your family's daily schedule.

Thanks!

[Wendy]

The answers to all these questions should be fun reading. How brave of you to make the offer - even with veto power.

You've talked about your journey with the Lord through poetry and stories etc.... I'd like to hear your story of how you came to be His, what wonders he has done, rememberance stone type stuff. You've said that if you were perfect then your children wouldn't have to rely on God. Tell us the story of how He has taught them (and you) to trust Him.

I'd also like to hear the full in-your-thoughts retrospect birth story for this newest addition. I know you live blogged it but....not the same.

Thanks

[Wendy]

The answers to all these questions should be fun reading. How brave of you to make the offer - even with veto power.

You've talked about your journey with the Lord through poetry and stories etc.... I'd like to hear your story of how you came to be His, what wonders he has done, rememberance stone type stuff. You've said that if you were perfect then your children wouldn't have to rely on God. Tell us the story of how He has taught them (and you) to trust Him.

I'd also like to hear the full in-your-thoughts retrospect birth story for this newest addition. I know you live blogged it but....not the same.

Thanks

[Wendy]

The answers to all these questions should be fun reading. How brave of you to make the offer - even with veto power.

You've talked about your journey with the Lord through poetry and stories etc.... I'd like to hear your story of how you came to be His, what wonders he has done, rememberance stone type stuff. You've said that if you were perfect then your children wouldn't have to rely on God. Tell us the story of how He has taught them (and you) to trust Him.

I'd also like to hear the full in-your-thoughts retrospect birth story for this newest addition. I know you live blogged it but....not the same.

Thanks

[Wendy]

The answers to all these questions should be fun reading. How brave of you to make the offer - even with veto power.

You've talked about your journey with the Lord through poetry and stories etc.... I'd like to hear your story of how you came to be His, what wonders he has done, rememberance stone type stuff. You've said that if you were perfect then your children wouldn't have to rely on God. Tell us the story of how He has taught them (and you) to trust Him.

I'd also like to hear the full in-your-thoughts retrospect birth story for this newest addition. I know you live blogged it but....not the same.

Thanks

[Faerylandmom]

I think all my questions have already been covered...so I can't wait to read the "answers" post. And I don't even know you.

[Stephanie]

Okay, you said we could ask anything.

Do you ever want to change your name to something other than "Mom?" I can't imagine dealing with 12 little (and not so little) people needing my attention all hours of the day and night!

And,...

Since said uterus is getting sluggish in its duties, do you think you'll have any more kidlets or is Sweet little Cowboy X the last?

Um, fair's fair, so if you want to ask me a personal question I'll gulp and answer!

[sheila]

Here are just 2 of my many questions
-have you ever looked into getting paid for your writing?( if not you should)
-have you looked into getting paid for your pictures?(if not you should)

[Carrie]

2 Questions: First of all, what is the most difficult number of children to have, I mean, is there a point where it starts to get easier to have more children because the older ones are helping out?

Secondly, how much individual time do you get to spend with each child, just talking & 'hanging out' each week?

Thanks for letting us ask questions! :)

[Toni]

Okay, I'm back with a real question now. What's your take on potty training? I will take any and all advice. What's worked? What hasn't? Oh, and I'm also in the curious group who wonders how you stay so trim.

[Anne]

Jenni, for shame - Crack Kills.

I can understand the addiction, though. :O)

[Chris]

OK, here are two things I want to know (although the undies size is intriguing...)

1) Best thing you and hubby have done in your parenting.

2) One thing (looking back) that you'd change in your parenting.

Thanks!
Chris in Canada
Chris

[Bonnie]

I was just wondering if you've had any issues being pregnant 12 times. I had number three a year ago and developed an umbilical hernia during that pregnancy. I haven't gotten it fixed because I am still nursing her, but I am at a crossroads to whether or not I should have it fixed before I go on to have more kids. I was just curious if you had had any problems being pregnant that many times, or if you have just been lucky!

I agree with others that it would be neat for you to give us more of an idea of your everyday life raising that many children, whether you are super structured or not and how things work. I don't know if I could handle twelve, but I sure would love to have five or six!

[heather]

I only have three so far (though we're on God's family plan), but how do you not lose yourself? I remember clearly Him telling me, "It's not about Me time, it's all about We time", but I feel like I need SOME me time. Do you take me time while your children are awake?

[Bekki]

OK I didn't read through all the questions..please forgive me if I repeat some.
The things I wonder most are
1)have you ever had a difficult baby? I ask because I thought we were getting sooo good at this parenting thing, and then #5 came along. She has been soooo high needs. I feel like I've neglected all my other kids because she sucks all my energy...and yet, I'd take more!
2)do you use a curriculum? If so, what is it?
3)as of right now, do all your children still live at home?
and 4)have you had any major 'oh my goodness..how are we going to get through raising these kids?" moments? Like any really bad decisions made by teenagers, or anything like that. You don't have to tell us what, I just need to know if all families go through major upheavels in their kid raising...I don't have teenagers yet, and I'm frightened!!
I wish I was baby snuffing with you..I need a newborn!

[Bekki]

OH OH OH..one more...although it's personal..do any of your kids have any special needs?

[Susan]

I am a mom of 6, ages 2-18, and will soon be adding 2 more through adoption. My question-

are you tired all the time?

I hope I'm just going through a "phase" but I am so stinkin' tired all of the time. Some days I'm worn out before I even get out of bed.

If you're not tired, do you know why? Vitamins,etc.

Thanks so much

[phylly3]

Jenni,
Did you ever have moments of reluctance or fear when you discovered you were pregnant? You seem to handle everything with such faith and grace.
During any of your pregnancies, did you or your husband secretly wish for one gender or the other?
I believe you must live near my daughter, same neck of the woods. I have shopped ofter at Utica Square and love it. She my son-in-law and my 3 grandbabies attend The Church At Battlecreek in B.A.

[jennyonthespot]

great new home... and... does your brain REALLY look like that?

heehee:)

[Tina Ruddell]

Do you think that your children will want to have big families because they are part of one?

Is there one (or more) child(ren) that you click with better than the others? Or worse than?

Thanks!

[Donna Mc]

LOVE your blog. You & your family are truly blessed.

My questions...

What's the best thing about having such a large family?

What's the worst thing about having such a large family?

What's halloween like at your house - do you dress the kids as a group costume idea (a baseball team, etc) or does each kid have their own unique one?

Just for laughs.... how many pizzas do y'all have to order for Pizza Night? *G*

God Bless you!

[smilinmom22]

How do you make time for yourself? (I'm hoping to steal some tips from you! I'm a single mom to two and 'me' time is sometimes hard to come by)
How much do the older children help with the younger?
What is your family's all time favorite dinner menu?

[Christine]

I was one of 11 kids and I STILL have questions like this for my mom. I will look forward to hearing all your answers!