Answers, housekeeping edition. Alternate title: far too much information to be interesting

Okay folks, gather round. I will forthwith dispense all my various and sundry secrets and magic formulas for running a household involving a small nation of people, and sum up every household-related question that anyone asked in my Open Season post. Are you ready? Here goes...

1. Get up in the morning. This seems obvious, but it is harder than it sounds, especially if it is cold, rainy, dark, gloomy, or Tuesday. Or if you are going on less than 3 straight hours of sleep at night.
2. Look around. See something that needs to be done.
3. Do it.
4. Repeat #'s 2 and 3 all day long.

What? You wanted specifics? Sheesh, you guys are particular AND nosy!

Just kidding. You know I love specifics. I live for them. They are my lifeblood. Or at least my lifelymph.

Mrs. Mordecai asked "How many gallons of milk do y'all go through in a week?"

Answer: Somewhere around a gallon per day, so seven (wicked cool math skilz, eh?). Plus some almond/soy/rice milk. Recently I decided we could do without the rBGH (honestly, we have no need of more hormones in this house, thankyouverymuch), so we buy our milk from Braums, although someday I would love to have a little dairy cow all of my ownty-own. That would be so very naturey and organicky and homegrowny.

Heather and Tricia (I have no link for Tricia, but we all know that the Sneetches without stars on their bellies are every bit as special as those with) wondered how scheduled I am.

Answer: As you may have gathered from the synopsis of my daily plan (above), my grip strength with regards to daily planning is somewhere between "relaxed" and "dead fish." I have tried to maintain rigorous schedules in the past, but inevitably I fall back on the FBTSOMP* method in the end. I make lots of plans on the spur of the moment, and schedules don't appreciate that. Plus they are awfully accusatory and snarky, those schedules. Whenever I have one sitting around, it just can't resist reminding me of all the things I haven't done, the things I will never get done because I am sadly human, and the fact that I am pathetic and hopeless. When that happens, I tear the thing to shreds and laugh maniacally until I feel better.

That said (and because HappyMommy asked), I have to say that I am pretty organized. I am anti-scheduling but very pro-organization. I told you I was bipolar! By organized I mean that I have an abhorrence for clutter and therefore work very hard to have a place for everything. Also, I regularly de-toy-ify and de-clothes-ify. Keeping toys and clothing to a minimum makes life easier. Probably the single most clutterfying element in my life is homeschooling. Curriculum, papers, projects, and the like constantly threaten to take over. Okay, okay, so does the scrapbook paper, but at least that's pretty.

Sharon asked "What does a menu look like for your house for the week/month, if you make one? Do you have a master shopping list? What are your must have convienece items?," Adrienne (non-star-bellied sneetch) asked "How do you grocery shop for a family that big?," AM (also star free) asked "Who cooks dinner?," smilinmom22 (starless) asked "What is your family's all time favorite dinner menu?," Donna Mc asked "how many pizzas do y'all have to order for Pizza Night?," and Stacey (no star) asked what dinnertime at my house was like.

That's a lot of questions about groceries, my dear readers. Truth is, I really don't understand why the Powers That Be can put a man on the moon, but they cannot invent a pill we could pop that would take care of all our dietary needs + fill us up for every meal. It would make my life so much simpler.I find groceries excruciatingly boring. But because you are precious in Jesus's sight, I will give you the answers:

Answer(s): I make weekly menus, on a good week. I usually plan for four or five dinners, and the other two days are FFY**. I will admit that there are weeks in which every night is FFY, however. I do not have a master shopping list. I live a half a mile from super Wal Mart, and I go twice a week. The first trip is major, the second trip is for basics like bread and bagels and TP. Yes, we tear through bagels at the same rate as toilet paper. Bagels are tastier, however.

When the children were all under the age of ten, I would simply wait until My Beloved came home to go grocery shopping, and I would go alone. Or we would all pile in the car and go together. Nowadays I usually take a child or two over the age of ten with me. I only fill one cart due to the extreme (and evil) accessibility of the groceries to me, and the fact that I have one fridge/freezer combo. No, I do not have a second fridge, or a separate freezer. I know! It's a crazy world.

I am not a great cook. I don't like cooking. I like baking, but baked goods don't make well-rounded meals, apparently. We recently switched over to a 98% vegetarian diet, which hasn't been nearly as difficult as I thought it might be. Thankfully I have a husband who is easygoing when it comes to food (his favorite food is pretty much cold cereal), and my little kids were picky already, so nothing changed there. They still say ICKY! to what I put in front of them, so why not make it even healthier?

That said, there are a few things my family will all devour in short order. Homemade pizza. Vegetable and tofu fried rice. Mandarin orange salmon. Black bean burgers. Speaking of pizza, I don't order it anymore. Something so delicious that can be made for pennies per person at home should not be purchased for filthy lucar. When I make it at home, two extra-large pizzas feed everybody. Yes. I'm serious. Big eaters we are not.

So my menu includes lots of bananas, apples, avocados, tofu, noodles, eggs, fish, lettuce, edemame, yogurt, cheese, rice, black beans, garbanzos, and bread. Must-have convenience items would be french toast sticks (I didn't make my kids give these up; they simply make my mornings far too easy), and Annie's Cheddar Bunnies, which my two year old pretty much lives on. They make his poop orange, by the way. I knew you'd want to know.

Sometimes my eldest daughter will cook something. Mostly, however, it is my domain. When it comes to cooking I just want to get it done. I'm tired by the end of the day and I don't want to stand in the kitchen any longer than I have to, which has translated into get out and leave me alone if you ever want to eat to my kids, which means they do not know how to cook. Yes, this is a failing of mine, I know. If you want to come over and teach some of them to cook, then by all means get your butt over here.

Dinnertime at my house, when we all sit down together (not much lately, but I am determined to change that soon), is noisy. Some nights more than others. Usually we have several conversations all going at the same time, which to an outsider might seem pretty crazy, I suppose. I haven't enforced a lot of rules other than for the love of all the fuzzy bunnies in the green green meadow, chew with your mouth closed or so help me I will wire your jaw shut, which means my oldest son can be seen "eating like a caveman" (according to his sisters, albeit a caveman who at least chews with his mouth closed) more often than not. Something else for me to work on. Or maybe I'll let his wife do it.

Thus ends the groceries answers. And there was much rejoicing.

Several people asked about laundry. I answered the laundry question a little while ago, with this post. All I can add to what is written there is the simple truth that we have a few rules regarding clothing. First of all, what you put on in the morning is what you wear all day. No playing dress-up from your own drawers. Given that we homeschool, there is no need to change from "school clothes" to "play clothes" upon returning home, which helps. Also, we have the "look and smell" test at the end of the day. Look at your clothes. Are they dirty? Smell your clothes. Do they smell gross? If the answer to both of these questions is "no", put them back in your drawer. Yes, sometimes grungy clothing gets put back into drawers. But usually it works.

Please don't ask me any more laundry questions. I might cry.

And then there is the chore question,  which "AM" also asked. Every night each child has an assigned room or area of the house that they are responsible for cleaning up. These areas rotate every two weeks. If anyone says "but it's not my mess!" they are reminded that at that same moment someone else is cleaning up THEIR mess. If it is a particularly huge mess (like someone made a gimungo tent out of sheets in the living room, or DS#1 has a movie set in place somewhere), they will be asked to remove their portion of the disaster, but generally it works well. The littlest children are called upon to clean up their own rooms. Dishes are My Beloved's domain. All else pretty much falls to me, which has worked because I Am Anal.

Part of my problem is that I have always been really bad at delegating. My Dad's philosophy of "If you want something done right you do it yourself" lodged itself very firmly in my frontal lobe early on and let me tell you, that sucker has a tenacious grip (both the philosophy AND my Dad, incidentally). As I get older and more decrepit I find myself getting better at ordering people about, however. So there's hope.

Somebody or two (please forgive me, whoever you are; I'm simply too pooped to look you up) asked if the older kids help with the youngers, and to what extent.

Answer: We do not "assign" an older child to a younger child as some families do. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but it's never really felt necessary (although we tried it after the birth of #7 and it fell by the wayside, probably because it felt rather regimented, and we already discussed my abhorrence for regimentation***). If I need a teen to brush somebody's teeth or wipe somebody's butt or make somebody a sandwich, I just ask them, and they do it. Most of them do it happily, and sometimes they will even change a diaper or get someone ready for bed completely unbidden. They all truly do love the little ones and enjoy being around them the majority of the time, perhaps because they haven't had to think of them as extra chores.

I don't know if it's easier to have tons of kids rather than a few, or not. I know that it's easier to do some things now that I have older ones around, but other things have become harder, and some things have had to completely fall by the wayside due to our extreme numbers. I try not to make my kids into personal servants, although I also want them to see the blessings of servanthood in a larger sense. This is the balance I am seeking, although I don't anticipate finding it this side of heaven. 

*Flying By The Seat Of My Pants
**Fend For Yourself
***not a real word

Comments

[Kate]

You're an amazing gal, Jenni. I seriously wish we were neighbors so that I could join in on all the crazy fun in your house. AND I'd be happy to provide cooking lessons to the offspring. :)

[Jamie]

I try to plan ahead and make a menu plan for the week, but often wind up going the FYS route as well. Or more accurately, since my kids are only 6 and 1 and note entirely able to fend for themselves, the STPSOTTTINHBMOTFHATWKHAI route. (Scrambling To Put Something On The Table That Is Nominally Healthy, Banging My Head On The Fridge All The While, Kids Hungry And Impatient.) Which, if I'm truthful, often translates to PB&J.

I don't know how you do it. And I'm sure you have NEVER heard that before.

[Marla Taviano]

This post is brilliant. Brilliance personified. LOVED it.

Can I just say that you give LARGE HOMESCHOOLING FAMILIES a very, very, very good name? (I have a smallish family and we do public school.)

You rock.

[Linda Sue]

OK this post answered a lot of my question about your fitness routine - you don't particularly like to cook so you don't really overeat. I however love to cook and constantly overeat. I really did find this intresting - your life and my life are about 180 degrees different - but I like you and I admire the heck out of homeschooling families. I have no children, never did and I am incompetent in training my DOGS! The Lord knows the right person for a job!

[Headless Mom]

Thank you do much for this! There are a lot of helpful tidbits in there and I will be trying some!

[Adri]

Oh dear, only one fridge? After 8 glorious months with a chest freezer and a second small fridge (cringing a little at the electricity used), I can't imagine how we used to eat before! I've filled my freezer with homemade and homegrown foods. I'm feeling a little big guilty and wishing that there was an easy way that I could at least send you my second fridge/freezer combo. I'll fill it with apples and eggs first if you'd like. ;-) BTW I love your answers and I can relate on a smaller scale. We breathe bagels here too, they are a wonder. I too wish you were my neighbour, our imaginary naturey cows could have playdates.

[Nic]

Interesting! I don't know if it's too late to ask, but what time do you get up in the morning? And I'd like to know how you schedule the homeschooling of the kids. Do they work together? It must be hard to instruct 11 kids on different levels (I understand they're not all in the school age but they're there anyway, aren't they?). I'm a middle school teacher from the Netherlands and interested in homeschooling, since we don't know that in our country (it's not allowed).

[Mrs. Troop]

Beautiful post! I'm so glad you shared all of that. I don't feel so much like a failure, anymore!
Although I have to say, NO EXTRA FREEZER? We have a second fridge and a large freezer and I fill/empty them both often!
Love that you are laid back and that your kids love their little siblings. That's the good life!

[chanelireli]

thanks for that. I too, am glad you shared. I agree about the extra freezer. I only have five kids and I can't even keep all the food in my fridge and can't imagine doubling that!

[Amy]

Because you are precious in Jesus's sight I'll give you the answers...you crack me up!

Love reading the details of your life even though they may be boring to you!

[Jody]

Black bean burgers ... from scratch? Do tell please, if you get the chance.

[Mimi]

You remind me of Rene Russo in the modern version of Yours, Mine and Ours (Dennis Quaid was in it too). I am much more a FBSP person. I homeschooled that way as well. Sadly only for one fall (and longing for more time but that will come in the future). Anyway, I grew up in a house with seven kids (not twelve but what's a few or five more). To us it was just normal. Hard sometimes but isn't everybody's life sometimes? I do envy you a little, having so much love surrounding you. However, I am happy with my four. I love love love love your writing style. Thanks for sharing it with all of us.

[Cathi]

Yes, I was wondering about the black bean burgers as well...will you share your recipe?

[Kelly @ Love Well]

See, I found it all fascinating.

FASCINATING.

Of course, I'm also trying to avoid going to bed, because that's what I do.

But you are so good at this thing called "writing," you just sucked me in. And I am the better for it.

[Joanne]

I am amazed that you answered so many questions in one post. You are wonderwoman!

[shel]

Oh Jenni, I am SO relieved to know that you don't stick to a rigid schedule! That sounds a lot like my daily plan- the FBTSOYP (Fly By The Seat of Your Pants) method. I loved reading all of your answers. ;-)

[Marni]

Homeschooling mom of 8 here. Enjoyed the post because it told me I'm normal. I regularly scratch my head over a friend who is scheduled to the max, all her kids make all the meals, kids raise their hands to speak at the dinner table, home is spotless, only healthy and mainly raw foods...but she really does have a heart of gold; she's just so different than me. People often ask me how I do it and I usually say that I don't "do" it like people imagine I do. If they knew all I DON'T do or don't do well, they wouldn't need to ask. They assume I keep up every item that they are able to keep up.
I don't always comment but I read every single dog-gone day!

[jen]

I am just LOVING these "answer" posts! Thanks for sharing...makes me think we could have four more kids...except for that Wal-Mart twice a week bit. Ew!

Oh, and by the way, I'd love to come teach your kids to cook. :)

[Adrienne]

Hi Jenni,

Can you point us to your pizza recipe? My previous attempts at homemade pizza were miserable flops; I'd love love love to have a good recipe.

Thanks!

[amy]

Hi Jenni:
This is fun. Now I want to know your stirfry recipe for tofu. Seriously. Everytime I try to stirfry tofu it's, it's disappointing.

And one really important question that I beg of you to answer-- how much of your kids stuff do you save? I know you said you weed out the clothes and toys, but what about the art projects/collections of rocks, etc. Inquiring mind wants to know.

[Lizzie]

I have just recently found your blog (about a month ago)and it has become my all-time favorite. You are a brilliant writer and hilarious. If you ever write a book, I'm buying.

~Lizzie

[Marybeth Whalen]

I have half the kids you have and I just wanted to agree with what you said about the balance between requiring them to work for you and wanting them to have real experience with making a house run. I constantly waffle between the two. I don't require them to work a whole lot primarily because I have heard other adults who were from large families say one too many times, "I had to do everything." Or, "I already raised kids because my parents always made me watch my siblings." So, I try to be very sensitive to that. Some days are better than others-- some days I need their help to survive. In those times, I simply threaten not to feed them if they don't help and that usually gets them up and moving rather quickly!
I am also anal. People think you can not be with a large family, but I am here to tell you, it works.

[Darci]

I can totally relate to a lot of what you have written. (being the oldest of 12)

[Mary Kate Brown]

Reading your blog makes my little mother of two boys heart go pitter patter for the pitter patter of MANY more little feet. Thank you for blogging.

[Owlhaven]

I need your orange chicken recipe. And I love your blog, dearie.

(Please come to the Blogher convention and be my roomie?? Your baby wouldn't bother me a bit.)

Hugs

Mary